I’d be lying if I said I had any idea where this post is going. I feel like I need to address new things in my life. I feel like I’ve really just got to be real and honest with you all. Maybe sharing my own thoughts and feeling etc. might help someone else.
I’ve done a lot of thinking over the last year! Not overthinking just reflecting really; about me and about my life really. I’ve always struggled to just be someone I’m happy with. I finally realised lately I need to just leave my past behind me. I’ve carried it around on my shoulders for so long. Not doing things because of the person I used to be. Well guess what I’m not that person anymore.
At some point I just felt like I needed to sit myself down and be like girl what are you even doing. I wasn’t happy with any of the decisions I was making. Make decisions that make you happy and not other people. Sorry to burst your bubble if you’re in one but you can’t please everyone. If you’re trying to then you need to stop. Do things that make you happy!
I’m finally at a point in my life where I’m happy. I’m doing things for me now without a second thought of what other people will think. I decided in the end after a long hard decision that I wasn’t going return to study at university. I may at one point in the future… I mean I’ve got time I’m not even 20 yet! It’s not right for me. I don’t want to force myself to study something that I’m not completely in love with.
My appearance is also something I’ve made a lot of changes to recently. As much as being happy it’s also important that you’re healthy. I make sure I exercise most days and I’ve cut all unhealthy food out! I’m not saying I don’t eat any because obviously I can’t live without chocolate but its all about eating it in moderation. Which is something that I definitely didn’t used to do! I’ve managed to drop around 2/3st in the last year. Purely to be more healthy and to make me more happy. Don’t feel like you need to lose weight though. I think if you’re happy with what shape or size you are then why should it matter? I’m happily a size 14 and I don’t have any desire to be a size 6/8. I love me and I love my body just the way it is.
Blogging has been a huge part to me becoming happy. I might have only been doing this for months but it’s something I’ve longed to do. I used to think I wasn’t popular or pretty enough. Stupid thoughts that would stop from doing something I genuinely love. I’ve had so many people turn and say to me “well it’s just for the money isn’t it?”. No not at all! I do this because everything I write about I’m passionate about. I love what I do! It’s so nice to feel like I’m part of such an amazing community. That I know will there to support me if I ever need it and I hope they know I will support them to through anything!
I’m currently exploring all the things that I’ve hid away my whole life that I love. My love for preforming has always been something that I’ve tried to hide. This is something that I really want to explore this year. I’m maybe going to try out for the National Youth Theatre when they are auditioning again. I’m also trying to take lots of classes in London. Dance, singing and acting… I mean I gave always wanted to be an actress.
I’m basically just going with life. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I don’t intend on changing for anyone but me. I know people have been commented on how I’ve changed some negative and some positive. Honestly this is just a step further in me becoming me and I’m loving it.
I hope you enjoyed this more personal post. I guess I just needed to get these things out in the open really.
Let me know if you have any thoughts on anything I’ve written about or let me know if you’ve made any changes to your life that have made you happy!
Thank you for reading,